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37 Thoughts You Have While Buying a Vibrator

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Stage I: Pre-Purchase Madness 

1. What site do I go to? Will it be blocked?
2. Ooooh not blocked! Lovetreats.in for the win!
3. Wow there is an ENTIRE SECTION?
4. Toys for women, bath and body, lingerie, intimate care, toys for couples! OH.MY.GOD WHERE WERE YOU ALL MY LIFE?
5. Women out there really want to reach that goddamn orgasm. THAT is for sure.

Stage II: Selecting Your Toy

 

 

6. The thought process, detailing and undeniable fun that has gone down while making these products is truly amazing!
7. Hmmm I wonder who thought of this…Are some men being plain lazy?
8. What did cavewomen do? Scratch that. Don’t want to know
9. Or do I? No! FOCUS.
10. Look at the range! And the colours! And the tech! And they don’t look very much like a penis.
11. Maybe the Terminator had a vibrator instead of a penis.
12. The Rabbit! 1st on the list. Of course, Charolette from Sex and the City was obsessed with The Rabbit. That is the one I should pick! Let’s see what it looks like when I zoom on it…
13. This is not a drill. Literally. If I didn’t know better I’d think it is.
14. G-spot and clitoral stimulation. WOW. This is the answer to everything.
15. Is my G spot even aware that it can be stimulated? All this while it’s been untouched and unaware of the adventures that lie ahead of it.
16. Has anyone ever understood that the biggest sex pun in Alice in Wonderland is the rabbit in a hole? Seriously how did everyone miss that?
17. Okay getting back to this Pink Rabbit, how do women put that in?
18. Look at those beads and buttons.
19. Wow it comes with a manual? Men could use these manuals!
20. Okay let’s go for the simple beginner’s vibrator! This looks smooth, looks safe to use and is water proof!
21. Oh look one is in the shape of a lipstick. Holy shit all my lipsticks look like mini vibrators now!
22. I’m going to go with this one. NO wait this one. No okay I want them all.
23. Placed the order! Do the Fedex guys open the package for fun to check?
24. Am I turning into a nymphomaniac?
25. Hmm there is no specific term for a man who is obsessed with sex. I guess it’s because they all are more or less obsessed with sex. (Yeah, right!)

Stage III: Using Your Toy!

via GIPHY


26. Oh finally the wait is over and I’ve received my package!
27. Fancy packaging! Naice!
28. I need batteries! Free batteries with the toy! Oh wow, they've thought of everything!
29. Okay let’s test this!
30. This feel oddly amazing
31. Every man should have a vibrate option for their penis.
32. Maybe in the future, robots who will replace husbands and boyfriends will have a vibrator attached to them instead of a penis.
33. Vibration patterns and frequency of speed. This is magical!
34. Getting off to this beauty is magical.
35. Everything in the world is magical.
36. Time to un-install tinder, fingers are sore from all the swiping.
37. No really it is the swiping.

Glad this came in handy! ;)

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