It's been glamorized in the movies, and whispered about at parties. The orgasm has brought much attention to itself in popular culture for good reason. It’s often thought as 'the point' of having sex (or at least good sex) and puts oodles of pressure on both partners. While we know there is physical evidence of the male orgasm, it’s trickier with women. Here are 4 myths about the almost mythically-complex female orgasm:
I'll Know When She Fakes It
Uh, no. Women are outrageously good at faking orgasms. They know how to pout the lips in pleasure and purr themselves into an orchestra-level moan. If a woman wants you to think she climaxed, believe us when we tell you - you will. It's also good to know that a woman faking an orgasm means no harm. It's not that she did not have a good time or your performance was underwhelming. It just means, there is no way she can climax at the moment but wants you to feel the accomplishment of a glorious end. Which brings us to our next myth.
Women Have to Orgasm to Have Great Sex
Sometimes the body and mind won't cooperate, sometimes the moment does not build up into one roaring orgasm. Sometimes she is loving the foreplay, the intimacy of being with her partner, the kissing and the giggles. Sex is not all about the orgasm, so trust when she is honest enough to say, ‘I can't come right now, but this was wonderful.’
The Multiple Orgasm (And The Over Enthusiastic Partner)
We've heard stories about overly enthusiastic partners, determined to get their lady to orgasm multiples times, just like the movies. This usually results in a partner trying many techniques to make sure she climaxes more than once. This can often result in a tiresome and even annoying experience for the woman. Yes, some women can orgasm multiple times but we don't think it's because her partner has made it the sole purpose of the encounter. If a woman has to come once, twice, or thrice it will happen naturally. Instead, concentrate on the moment and enjoy your time together without putting the big orgasm pressure on each other.
All Orgasms Are Created Equal
Heavens no! We all know that the orgasm is one major dose of pleasure, but to think orgasms are the same experience every time would destroy the nuances of human sexuality and the potential of our imagination. OK, we'll say this, all orgasms are good. But some are intense, some are more rhythmical, some make you laugh at the end, and some so mind-blowing it's been compared to a spiritual moment. Every time you get together with a partner you are creating a new moment of lust, pleasure, love, longing, and even hope. It's only natural that the end results will be as unique as the encounter itself.
So, the moral of the story? Relax. Good sex is not made of pure orgasms. It's made out of trust, fun, an ability to let go, a balance of give and take, and a hearty sense of adventure.
Written by Rheea Mukherjee. Rheea spent most of her life moving between the US and India. In 2011, she decided enough was enough and moved back to Bangalore for good where she founded Write Leela Write with her friend Kala. Rheea writes awesome blogs and other things for Lovetreats. She loves dogs, attempts yoga and fantasizes about becoming vegan. Rheea also just published her first book, "Transit For Beginners"!