Free your mind, and the bonking will follow. Start thinking differently in just these four ways, and you’ll be a sex god before you know it.
(Image courtesy: Fun Factory)
1. Get ready to play. Great sex is about more than a series of physical gestures set to mood music: it’s about getting into a frame of mind where you feel good about yourself, relaxed enough to fully enjoy yourself, and jazzed about making your partner feel good. Find out what gets you there: a hot shower, a good meal, a run around the neighborhood, a clean bedroom, a massage, a loving exchange with your partner, a competitive round of Monopoly—whatever quiets your stress and engages your desire to play.
2. Focus on foreplay for better orgasms. There’s this real bummer of an idea that foreplay exists to get you just ready enough to start sprinting toward orgasm. Keep focusing on the different ways you can make each other feel good for long enough, without making orgasm the priority, and the orgasms that you eventually have will be stronger, fuller, and way more awesome.
3. Judge toys based on looks. You wouldn’t keep having sex with a partner you weren’t attracted to, right? Exactly: you want to look at your toys and think “Aw yeah!” not “…Okay.” Even color can make a huge difference. A versatile vibrator like the Layaspot might be perfect for you, but are you going to be excited to reach for a pink-on-pink toy or a silver-on-red vibe?
4. Get serious about fun, not about sexiness. The measure of amazing sex is whether you had a ton of fun, not whether you looked like a bodybuilder, moaned like a porn star, or talked like a character in a romance novel. “Sexy” is a weird, elusive concept that’s only useful insofar as it actually makes you feel tingly. Enjoy your body, enjoy your partner, and you’re there.