"Male subs are not weak.
Male submissives are strong men, men who want to let go of control at times..."
This week, let’s talk of male submissives – the under-valued, numerous, docile creatures of the second half of my species. They are kinky, they are men and they are submissive. They have often been called sissies when they were growing up and if they wept. Those of them, who dared to submit to their wives, have been called hen-pecked husbands or ‘zoru ka ghulaam’. They have been told for decades, ‘Mard ko Dard nahi hota’, or that boys don’t weep, men don’t cry.
But there’s a point to which you can try and stereotype people. These men are men who have decided that they are beta in their interactions; they find happiness in submitting to the authority and specially in a social context. A lot of them are professionally very successful and they want to let go in the bedroom or in their inter-personal relationships.
However these men suffer from their self – discovery more than their female counterparts. As it is, sexually open minded women are few in number, kinky women even fewer, and Dommes or female Dominants, even rare. As a result, most male subs feel very lost when it comes to finding a like-minded partner and experimenting or exploring their desires. Desperation at times becomes so high that they end up realizing that they are strong too.
Time for a few myth busters! Firstly, male subs are not weak. Submissives in general are not weak. The way I perceive it, male submissives are strong men, men who want to let go of control at times. They are men that are strong enough to not succumb to the stereotype of being aggressive, but to embrace their desire of submitting to their partner. They are as real as gay bottoms. They are free individuals who choose their own relationship dynamics and personal preferences over the social conditioning.
Secondly, not all submissive men are into cuckolding or swinging. It is commonly presumed that just because a man is submissive, he will want to enjoy cuckolding or hot-wifing. The reality is very different. I mean frankly, imagine how much trust it must take for a man to admit that he doesn’t want to lead a relationship as it is commonly expected. Following the trust, also imagine the vulnerability.
Combine this with the conditioning around being monogamous and the commonly prevalent confusions around fidelity. A lot of submissive men prefer steady, monogamous partners. Whether they are able to find one or not; whether they decide to settle for a polyamorous Mistress for the sake of the skewed ratio; whether they decide to go to a Financial or a Pro Domme, are all related but different issues.
However, most importantly, most male submissives are gentle, submissive creatures who like to please their women by following their lead. They find it pleasurable to serve on command and through obedience. It’s sad that we have fewer Dominant women, but it’s not impossible for male subs to find a Domme. In fact, those male submissives that are able to control their cravings and focus on learning deeper internalization of their submissive tendencies are the ones who end up with lovely Dominant Mistress as partners.
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