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BDSM Fantasy, Porn and Reality

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When I tell people that I am a BDSM author; a practicing lifestyle submissive for more than a decade, I often notice a gleam in their eye. If I add that I am a woman. I am also single and I live in India and openly talk and try to explore the not so conventional desires, I can see their hearts leap to their mouths. In fact, I know what a lot of you are perhaps already imagining.

You’re thinking of a leather-clad ‘hunterwaali’. You’re thinking of an hour-glass figure, with long legs, toned ass, a bust pushing out of the latex jacket and jet-black hair. You’re thinking of a Diva who abuses every man and woman like trash, as she swishes a crop or a whip in the air with the flick of her hand.

OR,

You’re thinking of a naked, tied and bound, short, petite, young slave. Puffed labia, cuffed or tied ankles, bound hands, a collar and a leash, gagged with a cherry red ball gag, perhaps wearing a butt plug as well and being either taken hard and rough, or being beaten with various implements of torture.

Now let me tell you more about myself. I’m academically well-qualified. I’m a corporate warrior, a responsible person in my filial setting, professionally accomplished and a very next-door person with very day – to – day, pleasant and average looks. I have an allergy to leather and latex and am not a huge fan of nudity since my skin is very sensitive and gets rashes very easily.

Welcome to reality!

Is it not odd, how porn and fantasy drives and overshadows some of our sexual perceptions, the minute we hear specific terms? The minute we hear BDSM, we start thinking of 50 Shades of Grey which is nothing more but a piece of fantasy fiction?

Easy it is, to presume that I am available, that I am lusty, or an object of lust, and that I am a slut, just because I openly acknowledge that I’m a BDSM practitioner! It is equally easy to presume that BDSM and sexual relationships with BDSM as the underground premise are all violent. That a submissive is a doormat, a dominant abusive and a bondage enthusiast is just someone who enjoys tying up people and fucking them rough.

It is interesting to see how porn and fantasy fiction affects the way we perceive sex and our sexual partners. More so, when reality finally hits us, we are jolted into a rude shock which leads us disillusioned. There are a lot of us who are able to grow up, like they say. A lot of others are unable to close the gap and either let fantasy take over, or become morose because their reality isn’t like their fantasy. A lot of us are content with masturbating ourselves as well.

Like all of us, I was also influenced by erotica and porn at one point. However, that was only till I discovered BDSM in my real life. Once I started experimenting and practicing it, I realized that I didn’t have to be the flawless ebony beauty or the young blonde or the fiery readhead to be a sexually appetizing morsel. My curvy features didn’t have to be pushed into the hour – glass figure, my eyes and hair didn’t have to be a certain type. Believe me or not, the connections I formed once I got rid of the fantasy of sex and sexuality, were just great!

All I want to really share is that if you want to do stunts like a 10 inches cock, fucking someone 10 times a day; either be trained, use external aids, or be prepared to land up in a hospital! :P Let's accept the fact that, we need to look beyond the fantasy of porn (BDSM or not) in order to be truly able to find the real mind blowing intimacy.

Only when we look beyond fantasy are we truly able to accept the real people and their beautiful selves. Only then can we find real connects and mind blowing intimate moments!

So, play well, stay safe!

Asmi


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