Lately, I’ve been sensing a pattern on my newsfeed – ‘10 things to do this weekend with your boyfriend’, ‘10 legit excuses to make when she wants to spend the weekend with you’, ‘5 ways to enjoy boys night out with your buddies AND girlfriend’… get the drift?
Asking your boyfriend (or husband!) to choose between his friends and you is like asking yourself to choose between a hot stone massage and a regular champi - A GODDAMN OBVIOUS CHOICE RIGHT? But sadly, that is not the case with him. As frustrating as it is, being in a relationship with someone who has a clingy friends’ circle can be torturous. Lucky for you, I may have found the perfect solution to strike a balance! Follow these easy steps:
Step 1: Befriend the ‘enemy’
Get to know his friends. Share your love for Marvel movies or Mortal Kombat with his buddies.. Slowly, as you get to know them, your boyfriend will happily admit that his friends are your friends. Grab that opportunity!
Step 2: Maintaining your cool
Remember, this is not an overnight solution. Now that his friends are your friends, the get-togethers may seem to get longer in duration and more in frequency. As the "cool girlfriend" that you are, remember to keep yourself composed if your boyfriend refers to you as ‘one of his boys’ or his friends call you ‘fatty’. Insulting you to your face is the beginning of a – "Bro Bond". In fact, now’s the perfect time to think of equally insulting names for them - after all, it works both ways!
Step 3: She’s Mine
Join his friends when they take his case on a subject. His friends will love you for it, and he will find it funny. Of course, there is a risk factor here. Whenever they do make fun of him, take your dig at him and then make sure to give him a peck and add a ‘Just kidding’/ ‘Aww’. When the buddies realize how cool you are, they’ll profess their love for you. Surprisingly thereafter you’ll find your boyfriend roaming around with a signboard that says – ‘She’s Mine’.
Step 4: Oh, he’s great in bed!
Slip into conversations casually about how hot he is, how you’d do him on the table if you both were alone, how the two of you had a great time when everyone left last night (with a dramatic sigh, of course, and blissfulness in your eyes). This will remind them that you both are not only their friends, but also in a relationship. It might make them a bit uncomfortable at first, but rather than seeing you both as separate buddies, they will start seeing you as sexy bunnies (ha ha ha, no? okay)
Step 5: Confront the devil himself
Casually mention you’re going lingerie shopping this weekend, tell him how hot he looks before he leaves for work, try and redirect conversations to how much you want to spend the weekend banging like bunnies (Okay, I promise this was the last bunny joke) but you both can’t since the gang has prior plans. If he’s completely oblivious, he might let it pass once or twice, but watch how he slowly starts to prioritize ‘sexy time’ over everything.
Make sure you also leave a warning text to your lovable gang/any buddy (hah, see what I did there): "Hey! Spending the afternoon at his place, Call us before you reach or prepare to wait for a good 20 – 30 minutes ;)" Trust me, they’ll get the message.
Moumita is strong believer of retail and spa therapy, an ardent follower of YashRaj movies, an incessant talker, and a Big Fat Indian wedding enthusiast. Her disclaimer: Beware of Big Bong Eyes.