To people who are single, the idea of slotting time aside for sex can be a pretty absurd proposition. Then again, so would most of the salient features of a relationship. But that's no way of offering an explanation. Think of it this way, this is the modern age, and people hardly seem to have time for anything. Most of our work lives are consumed in front of a screen and then there's always some cheery traffic to greet us on our way back home.
It would almost appear that the modern world constantly conspires to keep us from having sex. Sure, it's given us options like condoms and Tinder, but for couples, neither of these things are viewed with a particularly positive spirit. This is why scheduled sex has become quite essential to strengthen the fabric of the modern day relationship.
But has it almost become passe too? Can couples who are over their honeymoon phase truly enjoy the idea of scheduled sex? Can it be that people are only adding to the drudgery of daily routines by scheduling sex?
Well, let's lay this down right now. Sex is absolutely required for a healthy, normal relationship, so there's no two ways about that. However, it is true that the idea of scheduled sex has been around long enough for people to become a little disenchanted by the whole affair. Anything that requires a schedule tends to ruin spontaneity, and some would argue that sex ought to only happen as an impulse, as a reaction to a spontaneous series of events. There are many valid doubts behind why scheduling the act may make it just another facet of tedium. But here's where we run into conflict with the original premise made in this paragraph. What options are we left with then?
Scheduled sexy time CAN be spontaneous and exciting, we just need to put a little bit of effort into it. The easiest way is to change our own outlook about the matter- show up thinking things are going to be exciting fun and new, rather than trying to just show for the sake of appearing. You'll realize that even if things aren't, you'll end up taking the initiative.
Try and come up with different ways you can keep things more interesting. Come up with themes, games, fun rules etc. Try something wild, something different, the options are boundless. Try different positions, try doing it in different, unorthodox locations. It can take simple things like this to bring back the spontaneity to scheduled sex.
There are finer elements that you can work on too, like the build up to the time you've slotted away. Try and create a sexually potent atmosphere, send dirty texts, set up your room the way the other person likes it, try candles and incense etc. How you decide to keep things fresh is completely up to your taste. But the thing is, sex doesn't have to be a chore at all and it really shouldn't. All it takes is a little bit of a different perspective and you'll find that the spark that set off the kindling still exists.
Written by Rheea Mukherjee. Rheea spent most of her life moving between the US and India. In 2011, she decided enough was enough and moved back to Bangalore for good where she founded Write Leela Write with her friend Kala. Rheea writes awesome blogs and other things for Lovetreats. She loves dogs, attempts yoga and fantasizes about becoming vegan. Rheea also just published her first book, "Transit For Beginners"!