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10 tips from sexperts for a better sex life

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Is there a secret recipe for out-of-this-world sex? While different things work for different people, and we all have our individual preferences and sweet spots when it comes to sex, there are some sex tips that you can use as inspiration to maximize your pleasure. From how to spice up your sex life to learning to accept your own body, here are 10 things that sex experts from around the globe say will make your tumble in the sheets much more exciting and pleasurable.

1. Learn to touch: This one goes out especially for women - whether you’re single or in a relationship, it is crucial to learn the pleasure points of your own body and learning to touch yourself. So make it a priority to experiment on your own in order to find out what works for you. Only if you know what brings you pleasure, you can share this wisdom with your partner!

"The foundation of sex is touch, but most of us never learn how to use our hands to give pleasure. Take the time to master the skills of massage and erotic touch and you'll unlock way more pleasure. The hand is the best sex toy ever invented — and you never need to change the batteries!”, says New York-based sex educator Chris of Pleasure Mechanics.

2. Enthusiasm goes a long way: If you complain about being in a sexual slump, do more than just show up. Passion is not something that simply sustains in a relationship unless both partners are willing to try new things and make intimacy a priority. A sexy text/picture, surprising your partner with a naughty gift or reminding them of your past sexcapades can go a long way.

"Nothing is hotter than a partner who is enthusiastic and eager to try out new things in the bedroom. So talk dirty, take the lead every once in a while, initiate sex, and be the first to suggest a new position.", says Dublin-based sex coach Sean Jameson.

Also read: 10 ways to reignite passion in the bedroom

3. Don’t be conscious of your nether regions: Worrying about whether your vagina looks 'normal' or if your penis size is enough, can take the fun out of sex and is a major source of anxiety for many men and women, says sex expert Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., research scientist at Indiana University and author of Sex Made Easy. There is no ideal labia type or penis type. Everyone is unique and that is a quality to be celebrated!

"In our research, we've asked men and women who partner with women what they like about their partner's genitals. They talk about big labia, little labia, various shades of colors, the way they smell and taste, how unique their partner's is."

4. To be a good lover, you need not be an experienced lover: Sex educator Logan Levkoff believes that there is no such thing as being advanced at sex. So don't feel anxious if you're new to sex - what's important is that you pay attention to your partner and are able to let go and enjoy.

"To have good sex, it doesn't make a difference how much experience you've had in the past. What matters is that you are fully present in the current moment."

5. Be open with your partner: The best way to figure out the issues in a relationship - whether in the bedroom or outside - is through communication. Be open with your partner when it comes to sex. Sex therapist Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author of The Men On My Couch, says that most problems in the bedroom can be solved by having a respectful and honest conversation about what you like or dislike, how and where you want to be touched and what turns you on. Using a playful element or game like our Naughty Coupons can help you get the conversation started!

Also read: How to get what you want in bed

6. Preventing painful sex: Sex expert Herbenick says that there are a number of easy methods to prevent pain during sex, such as using lubricants or extending foreplay to allow enough time for natural vaginal lubrication. However, if you experience pain regularly during sex, you should seek help from a health professional. Here's a crowdsourced list of trusted gynecologists in India.

7. Passion begins outside closed doors: To arouse your partner and yourself begin the foreplay outside the bedroom, said Jameson. You can try sending nudes or sexts or whisper something naughty in your partner's ear while you're in a public space.

Also read: How to take a sexy selfie

8. Have sex with the lights on: Many people tend to want the lights off during sex because they feel insecure about their bodies. But nothing is hotter than having the lights on and being able to see your partner’s face when they are being pleasured. “Self-confidence is super sexy. Own your body, own your sexuality, and own the situation,” We-Vibe’s in-house sexpert Tristan Weedmark said.

“Even if it’s a step outside your comfort zone at first, one of the best ways to feel confident is to behave confidently. Stripped down and with the lights on you get to watch each other enjoy yourselves and appreciate pleasure.” 

9. Slow down: Orgasm isn’t a finish line we’re racing towards. Sex coach Emily Morse suggests that you go five times slower than your last session and enjoy each and every sensual touch.

“Slowing things down enhances your intimate connection and allows you to savor all the sensations in your body that are missed when rushing to the finish line.”

Also read: Spicing up foreplay

10. Delayed gratification: Gloria Brame, sex therapist and author of Sex for Grown-Ups, recommends withdrawing stimulation when your partner is close to a climax. She says that this method can make orgasms much more heightened, regardless of the gender.Try a sex toy for men or for women to stimulate your partner and add that extra kick.

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