06 Apr 2017 Vindhya Chandrasekharan

Any conversation about dating and sex always ends up in a mutual trade of horror stories. And it runs the entire gamut of horrors that one can experience in one lifetime, horrors that movies and books haven't even begun to scratch the surface of. But these are just stories you'd think, they almost serve as the folk tales of our generation and nothing more. But all parables contain a pressing urge that humanity wants to convey in it's place and time. The truth is, the world of dating does have a murky interior. There will always be the element of risk, of walking into the unknown. Despite all kinds of advances and leaps that we take, the enterprise of dating will always be fraught with a certain element of risk. In these trying times, the best way to deal with risk is to come up with methods of risk management, a manifesto, if you will.

Always Split The First Check

The first date is always beset with a good deal of anxiety. Think of it this way, you're out on your way to meet a person you barely know and you're just going to have dinner with them in a very awkward setting. The worst part is, every stage of this first date gets progressively awkward, there's simply no way out of it. The best way to keep things on an even keel is to ensure you split that first check. I know, it sounds absurd, how would that make things less awkward? The truth is, it's better to be a bit assertive at this stage. Nobody is obligated to anybody, and nobody ought to be. You can play it by ear moving forward, but do make sure the first date starts on even ground.

Wear What You Want To Wear

There somehow seems to exist a societal pressure to dress a certain way to a date. Just squash these notions, wear what you feel comfortable in. If you want to dress your best, go for it. But don't fall for the trap that there is a certain expectation. There isn't, wearing what you want to wear can be the first step in making things less awkward for yourself. In this matter the old cliche of "You are what you wear" does ring true, so just be yourself and you'll find that things will pan out rather smoothly.

Don't Let The Other Person Get The Upper Hand

When it comes to matters in the bedroom, don't let the other person get you to do something you are not comfortable with. It's just a dangerous rabbit hole to get into. If you don't want to go to his place or aren't in the mood, just let him know. It's best to nip these small issues right in the bud.

Don't Compromise On Values

Everyone's been on a date where the other person has said something completely unacceptable to your way of thinking.

"You know I'm cool with feminism and all but this equal pay thing. Come on."

Yes, it's hard not to cringe at stuff like this, but ever so often we let people off the hook. We just overlook it, or worse, we feel that time will change things. Whenever you feel that someone is fundamentally at odds with you, call them out on it. Don't compromise on this anymore.

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