Hello Kinky and Curious Folks,
Let’s talk about the surest ways to put off other kinksters. I’ll just bullet point here. It’s simple that way:
- Men, if you want to fuck up awesomely well, put dick pictures as your profile display. Guess what: we don't care about between your legs, but we do care about what's between your ears.
- Fake your age, marital status, or sexual orientation and the minute one of us discovers, the whole community knows. Believe it or not, we watch out for each other and value integrity.
- Not all of us want to tame brats. Women, if you want to fuck up with a seasoned lifestyler, act pricey, bratty, or act like a know-it-all (as opposed to being wise and intelligent). Believe me, you will still get attention from those looking for an easy lay but not from someone serious about the lifestyle.
- Don't get laid if you don't want, but act with a Precious Pussy Syndrome or reveal your Dick-heady side rather than the brainy side, and you'll be on the hit list soon. Did I say hit list? Oops! I meant the block list :P
- Be pushy, be rude, act desperate, stalk us online, or tell us about your sexual prowess in the very first message and I promise, you will have fucked it up royally! Do that with one active member, and the whole community knows. There's solidarity, you know.
It’s OK to be unsure of where you are on the BDSM spectrum. It’s OK to be very sure of what you want or do not want. It’s OK not to be a doormat. It’s absolutely OK to not give in to temptation and take your sweet time exploring the platforms, meeting people and connecting with them online. It is OK to stand up for yourself and only do what you want.
However, it’s not OK to keep them hanging, mislead, manipulate, and lie about your marital status or ulterior motives if you have them. It’s not OK to forget the basic tenet of Your Kink Is Not My Kink and leave it at that should it be the case. Most importantly, it is Absolutely NOT OK to violate consent on any level. That, my friends, makes you a rapist or an abuser, not a kinkster!
Respect given is respect earned. Most of us folks that have been around for some time now are usually not judgmental, not manipulative, and slightly direct in our communication, especially when saying no. However, we have no reason to judge you for your desires. We do look forward to new people joining us, because that is what kink is all about. Trying new things, meeting new people, and creating a variety; we welcome the alternate within relationships!
On this note, I wish you all the best in your adventure. Do write to share how it was.
Asmi Uniqus is an active BDSM practitioner and lifestyle coach based in India. She has been a lifestyle submissive for over 10 years now and is very vocal about her lifestyle choices. She believes in self–empowerment through empowerment of others; has a wide experience of writing both poetry and prose around themes of feminism, LGBT, sexuality and erotica. She has also been very active in several real-world BDSM communities and has close connections with a wide spectrum of other practitioners both in India and globally. The speaker is also the author of a series of simplified guides to various aspects of BDSM, which are undergoing the publishing process. She can be reached on Facebook or via email at: firstname.lastname@example.org