6 Common but Completely Untrue Notions about Sex Toys
While we may be all adult men and women now, given our desi upbringing, it can still be uncomfortable talking about or buying any product related to intimacy, health and - well - sex! Remember watching TV with your parents and squirming in your seat when a romantic scene unexpectedly popped up? Remember when college friends dared you to buy condoms at the chemist, and you tried not to erupt into nervous giggles as you looked at the cashier?
There, we said the S word without giggling nervously. Phew. And this discomfort often extends to buying an intimate toy. Yes, today, online shopping means you don’t have to go to the trouble of visiting a seedy store in the back alleys of your local Burma Bazaar. However, we still need to discuss all the questions, myths, judgements and misinformation around sex toys.
So here are Commonly Believed But Completely Untrue Notions about Sex Toys that we need to leave by the wayside:
"Sex toys are only for single people because that's all they can get" - Narrow Naasih
Relationship status has nothing to do with owning sex toys or whether people in relationships should or should not own sex toys. Yes, many people who buy sex toys are single (often by choice), but many people in relationships also buy sex toys. People in relationships might like how toys make them feel during solo play or as a tool during couples' play. Owning a sex toy says nothing about how healthy or happy a person's sex life is.
“If I suggest buying a sex toy, I am afraid my partner will think I am too wild. I don’t want to replace my boyfriend with a battery operated toy.” - Nervous Neeta
Have you considered that your new-age, progressive boyfriend or husband may not be intimidated by the suggestion of using a sex toy together? He may just be excited to explore a new element of your lovemaking. Most men would love to be with a woman who is confident and isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. And sex toys are not a replacement for a human being who can take steamy showers together, bring you flowers and reach for things on the topmost shelf! The next time you hang out, you may want to casually indicate your interest in sex toys and see how it goes. Don’t whip out a monster dildo without any warning during sex, and you should be fine.
"If a woman needs a sex toy to orgasm, then that shows that there is something definitely wrong with her" - Naive Nilan
Sorry, but this is totally untrue. Everybody's body is unique and different. Some people need more intense sensations or very specific sensations to orgasm. Needing intensity or specific sensations is neither right nor wrong; it is simply a characteristic of anatomy. This is how a person's body works, not a personal choice. Consider this fact: only about 25% of women regularly orgasm from penetrative sex. That means 75% of women require additional stimulation during penetrative sex to orgasm. So needing extra stimulation is normal; it's just the way anatomy works.
“Using a sex toy means I am a certified loser who cannot get laid, worse, if people knew, they will think I am some kind of psycho who thinks about sex 24/7.” - Panicked Pankaj
Whoa, hold on. Single people aren’t losers who magically transform into happy bunnies once they find their perfect partner. And individuals who want to be sexually satisfied are not perverts. Sex toys are used by both happily single and awe-inducing couples alike. There are toys for everyone, and buying and using your first (or tenth) sex toy does not make you a loser. Far from it - it shows a willingness that you are ready to take your pleasure *ahem* into your own hands or are open and confident enough to explore new, exciting sensations with a partner.
“Why would I need a sex toy when I am young, healthy, and have great fun between the sheets? These products are only for people with sexual problems.” - Studboy Salim
It is a myth that adult toys are only for people with problems in the bedroom. Toys can help take the pressure off couples and are equally helpful in spicing up your bedroom routine. If anything, your woman will be impressed that you are finding ways to make her feel even better and will be more than happy to return the favour. So you have nothing to lose except your inhibitions.
“Sex toys sometimes look scary. Could it injure me or a partner? What if it causes infections or other complications?” - Hesitant Hema
Sex toys come with detailed product descriptions that indicate how they are to be used. Depending on your comfort, you can start with easy-to-use toys suited for beginners. Moreover, Lovetreats focuses on stocking non-intimidating toys for women. Also, Lovetreats only retails products from quality-tested brands. These toys are hygienic and safe for repeated use.
"Men who enjoy using anal toys are gay or bisexual, obviously" - Lewd Latish
This is a widespread misconception, derived from the view that, by definition, men penetrate and women receive. So a male that enjoys penetration must be effeminate or gay because real men penetrate. The reality is that anal penetration is pleasurable for any man because of physiology. The prostate gland is the male equivalent of the G-Spot and has sensitive nerve endings that supercharge orgasm. So enjoying anal toys is about increasing orgasm intensity or having more types of sensations during orgasm. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
“I am sexually fairly inexperienced but curious. I'm not sure if there any toys for beginners like me.” - Curious Kamini
Absolutely, you can start by buying racy lingerie and massage products or use a blindfold to amp up sensations. Whether you are exploring your body by yourself or with a partner, you may want to try lubricants or even invest in a sex toy for beginners, like a bullet vibrator focused on enhancing female pleasure.
“I am worried about my nosy neighbour finding out about my purchase, also isn't this stuff illegal in India?” - Shy Shantala
We are aware of your privacy needs; we know aunty and uncle next door may faint if they found out what’s in your mailbox. We also don’t want the postman giving you knowing looks, so when we launched in October 2015, Lovetreats ensured that all its packaging would be logo free and discreet. And sex toys in India are not illegal. India has certain dated and vague laws governing ‘obscenity’, and as a retailer, Lovetreats presents products and descriptions tastefully, keeping these norms in mind and ensuring that the products are 100% legal.
Be sure to take a look at this video by Pallavi on sex toy myths.
