DO
Share ideas with your partner
To get the role-playing thing rolling, you must start by sharing your fantasy with your partner. Easier said than done. Either of you may feel uncomfortable taking on different characters during sex. One way to approach this is by introducing your fantasy scenario as a compliment, saying something like, “I think you would make a hot police officer… I would let you arrest me.” You should make it clear that this is fantasy and that you don’t want to sleep with any police officer… You just think it would be hot if your partner assumed that role.
Find roles that suit both of you
You might already have a scenario in mind. Perhaps they play the part of teacher, you the student. Or perhaps you want to try a secretary-and-boss scenario or repairman and lady of the house. Be sure to alternate: act out their fantasy, and then the next time, yours. There are endless possibilities, just be sure that whatever you come up with is agreeable to both partners.
Explain yourself
Now that you’ve revealed your fantasy, elaborate on the particulars to ensure you and your partner understand each other. Otherwise, you might develop wildly different ideas about how to act out the fantasy. The better you explain what you had in mind, the more likely you will act it out in an exhilarating rather than awkward way. Talking about it beforehand also ensures you both will be comfortable with what you will be doing. Be sure to set limits. Lying in bed, and discussing your fantasies, can also be a major turn-on in itself.
Dress the part
Dressing up in character isn't mandatory for role-playing, but it can add to the fun and help you grow into your sexy new identity. Costumes and props can lower your partner's and your inhibitions. Whether it's a full-blown 17th-century period costume or a simple wig and a pair of handcuffs, a few props may be all you need to bring your fantasy to life.
Improvise
Some like to have a whole story-line made up before they get going. That can be fun, but once you’ve had a bit of practice, try straying away from the original plan and create the story as you go along, seeing where it takes you.
Set boundaries
Before going into character, you and your partner should be on the same page about what you feel comfortable with and what you consider going too far. Understand your and your partner's limits, and establish a safe word to stop the action if it becomes too uncomfortable. Limits are critical if you're experimenting with a scenario that involves domination and submission or one that may arouse emotional sensitivities.
Learn to talk dirty
Role-playing is often more about what you say than how you act – especially if your acting skills aren’t stellar. Tell your partner how you like it, express your fantasies or erotic intentions, or act out what your character might say during sex.
DON'T
Put too much pressure on yourself
This isn’t an audition. You’re not going to be graded by an audience. The point is to have fun together and to add a little spice to your sex life. Don’t stress about acting – focus more on your lovemaking performance.
Burn yourself out
It’s not necessary to try a different role-playing scenario every time or to experiment with every scenario you can think of. Discover one you and your partner really like, and use it again and again, experimenting with variations.Forget to have fun
Role-playing is about enjoying your fantasy, not being overwhelmed by it. Don’t get caught up in the preparation and theatrics – the aim is to feel aroused and enjoy yourself, not to win an award for best acting. If you happen to break character and burst into laughter – who cares?Get hung up on props
Props and costumes add fun to role-playing, but they aren’t essential for success. Most important is choosing a scenario both partners find exhilarating and successfully having fun playing the part.
Forget to have a safe word
Whatever game you're playing, it's always a good idea to have a safe word that can act like an emergency button that will bring the game to a halt whenever it becomes too intense or is no longer enjoyable. "Aloo Ghobi", "Laal topi" – any out-of-context word that kills the mood should work.
Republished with permission from Love Matters India. Read the original article here.
