23 Nov 2016 Sushmita Sarkhel

It’s no exaggeration that the anatomy and, as an extension, the sexual function of women’s genitalia is a big grey area for most people (which can be a real downer in the oral sex department). And to make things trickier, vaginas are as diverse as snowflakes - so what one woman enjoys, another may not.

Oral sex, when done right, can be a genuinely pleasurable experience - and we all want to give our partners the best, don’t we? So here are a few ways to help you bring your A-game the next time you’re going down on her.

  • Get your biology right - While this may seem rather obvious, it is crucial to get your basics straight. The same applies here too. Make yourself familiar with what vaginas look like and the different parts, and pay close attention to the physiological and anatomical differences. For instance, did you know that the clitoris is more than just a "button"? The clit is almost shaped like a wishbone and extends to connect to the G-spot. What could you do armed with information like that? So yes, science is your best friend. Read up as much as you can!
  • Communicate - While I get that your tongue will be otherwise occupied, it’s still a good idea to sneak in a quick, ‘Are you enjoying this?’ And ladies, please be vocal about what feels good and doesn’t. A little guidance goes a long way - it is all about teamwork. (A little anecdotal advice here, if your partner says that she’s enjoying something, it does not mean you increase the tempo or pressure, just stick to what you were doing!) Apart from obvious verbal cues, body language is also a big giveaway. Is she breathing heavily or moaning? Is she arching her back? These are signs she’s enjoying, and you’re on the right track.
  • Use lube - Sometimes, we all need a little help in the fluid department, and that’s where lubricants can be a real lifesaver. Use flavoured ones to give a fruity twist to your oral sex experience. Or use a tingling lube to take things up a notch. Not only will this add to her arousal, but yours as well. Win-win.
  • Own your game - Sometimes, confidence is the key to everything. One of the best ways to make sure your partner enjoys oral sex is to ensure that she knows you, too, find it a pleasurable experience. If you go down on her and you seem less than interested, it will be hard for her to stay in the mood. Tell your partner how much you want to please her, make her feel comfortable and let her know that you enjoy this as much as she does. Sex is also a very cerebral act; your partner will feed off your energy and enthusiasm, which will help her keep her mindset towards the climax.

Once you’ve gotten these basics in place there are more techniques to learn and positions to try to enhance your oral sex skills experience. Experiment to find what works. Even bring in some 69 action! Whatever it is, have fun… it’s also about your pleasure as much as it’s hers!

 



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