It’s no exaggeration that the anatomy and as an extension, sexual function, of women’s genitalia is a big grey area for most people (which can be a real downer in the oral sex department). And to make things trickier, vaginas are as diverse as snowflakes - so what one woman enjoys, the other might not.
Oral sex, when done right, can be a truly pleasurable experience - and we all want to give our partners the best, don’t we? So here are a few ways which will help you bring your A-game the next time you’re going down on her.
Get your biology right - While this may seem rather obvious, I can't stress enough on how important it is to get your basics right. The same applies here too. Make yourself familiar with what vaginas look like, what the different parts are and pay close attention to the physiological and anatomical differences of each. For instance, did you know that the clitoris is more than just a “button”? It’s almost shaped like a wishbone which extends and connects to the G-spot as well. Do you know what you could do armed with information like that? So yes, science is your best friend. Read up as much as you can!
Communicate - While I get that your tongue will be otherwise occupied, it’s still a good idea to sneak in a quick, ‘Are you enjoying this?’ And ladies, please be vocal about what feels good and what doesn’t. A little guidance goes a long way - it really is all about teamwork. (A little anecdotal advice here, if your partner says that she’s enjoying something it does not mean you increase the tempo or pressure, just stick to exactly what you were doing!) Apart from obvious verbal cues, body language is also a big giveaway. Is she breathing heavily or moaning? Is she arching her back? These are signs she’s enjoying and you’re on the right track.
Use lube - Sometimes we all need a little help in the fluid department and that’s where lubricants can be a real lifesaver. Use flavoured ones to give a fruity twist to your oral sex experience. Or use a tingling lube to really take things up a notch. Not only will this add to her level of arousal and excitement but yours as well. Win-win.
- Own your game - Sometimes confidence is the key to everything. One of best ways to make sure your partner enjoys oral sex is to ensure that she knows you too find it a pleasurable experience. If you go down on her and you seem less than interested, it’s going to be hard for her to stay in the mood. Tell your partner how much you want to please her, make her feel comfortable and let her know that you enjoy this as much as she does. Sex is also a very cerebral act and your partner will feed off your energy and enthusiasm which will help her keep her mind set towards climax.
Once you’ve gotten these basics in place there are more techniques to learn and positions to try to enhance your oral sex skills experience. Experiment to find what works. Even bring in some 69 action! Whatever it is, have fun… it’s also about your pleasure as much as it’s hers!
Written by Sushmita Sarkhel.